User blog:Shockfreeze/Decease, and Dawn

NightClan's been dead for a long time. I know.

And as hard as I try, nobody wants to even bother to reconnect. I've tried sending Firey and Rainy messages, getting nothing from the latter, and the former... pretty much just gave me the message "no sorry, I no longer really care and I don't want to reconnect".

So all I've got is Icy and me.

​Grief
If you've seen my new Song of Eternity tab on my userpage, then you'll know what this next section'll be about.

See, lately I found one particular song that reminded me so much of NightClan and how it fell. That song's name is Audience of One ​by Rise Against. I've got my reasons for that song reminding me so much of NC, as well. And here I will show you.

Audience of One commentary
I can still remember

The words and what they meant

As we etched them with our fingers

In years of wet cement

The days blurred into each other

Though everything seemed clear

We cruised along at half speed

But then we shifted gears

NightClan was a roleplaying group; specifically, a Warriors RP group.

We used to RP constantly, and we had an elaborate story for everything. It was a community and we always had trust in each other.

We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns

But even then we should have stayed

Shit went down soon, and for a time we had discord among us, we weren't as we once were.

But we ran away

Now all my friends have gone

Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved

Runaway

But what are we running from?

A show of hands from those in this audience of one

Where have they gone?

The chorus, this...

The entire group eventually, at the end, completely dispersed. Very few remain now.

Identities assume us

As nine and five add up

Synchronizing watches

To the seconds that we lost

I looked up and saw you

I know that you saw me

We froze but for a moment

In empathy

We never posted again, we lost everyone.

The community died.

People knew that we were there but they never joined back, never responded, nothing.

I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug

You gave my emptiness a name

One particular user came through and subtly set us all against one another. Eventually we were fighting one another.

And you ran away

Now all my friends have gone

Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved

Runaway

But what are we running from?

A show of hands from those in this audience of one

Where have they gone?

They ran off, faking blowing themselves up with... 40 pounds of plastic explosives and molotovs, I think it was allegedly?

That was one of the events that tore us apart. Eventually they came back and we all snapped.

We're all OK, until the day we're not

The surface shines, while the inside rots

We raced the sunset and we almost won

We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on

Seemed to the outside world that everything was going well.

But it was an internal war going on, not external. The group was tearing itself apart.

But we ran away

Now all my friends have gone

Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved

Runaway

But what are we running from?

A show of hands from those in this audience of one

Where have they gone?

So we find ourselves as we are. Disbanded completely.

I've only managed to maintain contact with one or two other users from the community. Hence my trip to Arizona.

The Chance
Even in the grief I've endured, I still search for members of the original NightClan. Because without...well, I can't do anything with my plans with Icy, of course. I've been hoping to re-ignite a love of Warriors in my friends and kickstart a new Clan, one based on the now disbanded NightClan.

It's just a prototype at this moment, but if we can get people going to it, then it will be more than that.

That's all I can hope for, anyway. But I know the memories are too deep to allow us to want to remember.

​My Final Say
This will probably be the last time I make a blog post attempting to reconnect with any NightClan members. I recognize that my attempts are futile, that I've been wasting my time, even with this post I'm writing right now.

But that doesn't mean I have to give up. That is why I have been making these posts.

But if anyone... anyone at all... is interested in reconnecting, I am most active on Discord.

ShockfrostVolt #1151

If not...

I wish everyone luck in their lives to come. It'll be a hard road. But you'll all make it. I know that.